Spencer's Journal, Entry 2

Posted on Sun Oct 22nd, 2023 @ 3:33am by Spencer Gustaffson
Edited on Sun Oct 22nd, 2023 @ 4:30am

540 words; about a 3 minute read

[OOC - This is recorded before Lightning Raid]

I suppose, with everything that's happened, it makes sense that the shrinks have suggested I start writing things down again. I'm probably carrying a boatload of survivor's guilt and more than just that. While Orange and Black have been running around the galaxy fighting the Kaldor, they weren't caught the way I was - the way we were. Thankfully we survived - most of us.

I keep having dreams lately where Kyarah shows up as a dream figure. Unlike most of my dreams, I remember them. That bothers me deeply, but that's not the worst part. No, it's the fact that I'm not comfortable talking about the situation. The others really never worked with her. Keon only knew her a few days. And the shrinks would probably think it was some kind of attraction to her. But that wasn't the case; or, I should say, not consciously so.

Every time the dream happens, I see Kyarah morphed - always morphed as the Silver Ranger. I see her in a black void; but in the instances where she talks, it doesn't sound like her voice. It's almost like a man's voice; and I can't understand what's been said. I don't really know what that means, only that it's happened. I don't have control over it, so I can't try to ask questions or change the outcome. But that Silver Ranger is asking for help. I want to help, but I do not know how. That feeling of needing to help, but not being able to, continues after I awaken. It's still with me now, even though it will probably fade into the background by midday. At least I hope it will. Frankly, it sucks having that feeling of helplessness while also being totally unable to ask for help because if you do, you'll sound insane. Then again, Ellie was right. If you'd told any of us a year ago that we'd be Power Rangers, and saving the world from the Kaldor Imperium would be on our shoulders (and that we stand a chance!), every single one of us would have dismissed it as being completely nuts.

I need to figure this out and get some kind of a solution before I can bring it to anyone else. The question is only 'how'. I haven't meditated since I was in college when I was getting my black belt in aikido and studying hapkido and TKD at the same time. Maybe I'll try that; but I don't know if I can get something coherent. If I do, then I can talk to the others. Not the shrinks, the other Rangers; because if I can find Kyarah, we need to save her.

No, that's not correct. I need to save her. I'm the one who led her into that teleporter. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I couldn't possibly have predicted any part of the signal would be intercepted. We thought we were secure. We thought we were safe to make that jump. Whatever they did, however they did it, none of us knew.

That's one more question to be answered, soon. Right now, I have to focus on one thing at a time.

 

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